Feel good, French style

The success of movies like Julie & Julia, the star status enjoyed by a Mario Batali or a Gordon Ramsay, the availability of organics at your local Safeway…These trends signify that good eating is not only a desire in our lives, but also something which is becoming easier and easier.

Nonetheless, between the aspiration to eat well and the day-to-day reality, there is often a gap. These days we’re working harder on our sales planning than our meal planning. There seems to be a trade-off between home-made vegetable soup and finishing one more e-mail. After a long day, it’s more tempting to watch Top Chef than it is to be one.

Photo by Leslie Kobrin, thel-list.com

How do we make eating well easier in our daily life? How can meals become a source of relaxation instead of a source of worry (is this good for me? will it make me fat? If I eat now, how will I leave by 6?)

Here are my three steps to eating well, starting with step one this week. Stay tuned next week for steps 2 and 3.

Step 1: Refuel and relax three times a day.

Whatever happened to three square meals a day? In the age of eating on the go, snacking through the day, and eating while working or watching TV, mealtimes have fallen by the wayside.

But squeeze meals out from our life and we’re orphaned. We’re not getting the fuel we need to sustain ourselves. We’re missing out on the natural pauses in our day which keep us in our flow and connected. We’re missing the comfort and structure of breaking bread together. Quality of life and balance begin grass roots style, from the ground up. If you seek more balance in your life, aiming to refuel and relax regularly is an ideal place to start.

- Ease into your day.

Intuitively, we don’t like rushing our kids off to school on an empty stomach so that they can whip out their cereal and milk during 9 a.m. math class. Adults merit the same treatment. Take a few minutes in the morning to be at home and enjoy breakfast, or a part of your breakfast. This sets the stage for the rest of the day and makes the difference between feeling harried and feeling settled.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Since we typically digest fruit better when spaced away from other foods, have some fruit and a warm beverage, for example, before leaving the house. Be careful with caffeine which sends an electroshock through your system, especially on an empty stomach. Complete your meal later.

- Make meals your Big Rocks.

As you plan your schedule and confirm your meetings, plan on time to eat. Mealtime provides a welcoming structure to days and routines which are ever-changing and unpredictable. Making mealtime a priority, instead of an afterthought, is a way to acknowledge yourself. You send your subconscious the signal that you are a human, not a machine – at least a couple of times a week.

Breakfast and lunch matter. Studies show that the more calories you eat earlier in the day (especially in the morning), the less overall calories you will consume.

If you find your eating is scattered during the day or gets erratic evenings or week-ends, put a couple of mealtime rendez-vous with yourself into your planner.

- Take the opportunity to shift gears.

Let lunchtime be your cue to stretch your legs, take a few deep breaths, release the tension in your neck, and daydream. Like the a-ha moments we have in the shower, this change of perspective is productive and refreshing.

Likewise, reframe preparing dinner after a long day from something that stresses you into something that soothes you. Listen to your favorite music as you chop vegetables and introduce your 6 year-old to extra virgin olive oil and basil. Persuade your chéri to help you set the table and get the sauce right, declare a 30 minute moratorium on electronics, and delve into a simple salmon and rice dish…I’ll take that over take-out in front of the TV any day!

How do you make meals work for you? Please share your ideas with me.

Live épanoui*!

Elisa

* in full bloom

Announced by all the trumpets of the sky,

arrives the snow.

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Lately, an abundance of snow has been throwing a monkey wrench into our plans. The Federal government was closed almost all of last week. Over 5,900 flights were cancelled during Wednesday’s blizzard. Slushy streets make simple things like walking the dog treacherous and chilly. We relate to writer Carl Reiner’s frustrations, “A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.”

But as ten inches blanketed Central Park and shut down schools and offices, a certain excitement clung in the air. A white-out also means a time-out. Snow days offer a bonus hiatus from the normal hustle and bustle. Like a “Get out of jail free” card, they come with special permission to play instead of work, linger over hot chocolate and watch silly DVDs.

It’s often during these little parentheses in time that we come across a new idea, share a moment we’ll treasure or accomplish something that had been eluding us. If you could use some bonus time, recreate your personal snow day.

Here are my tips to find frosty exhilaration and cozy warmth, whether you have a day or a few minutes, no snow required.

1. Make a spontaneous break in your routine.

There’s glee and naughtiness in deciding to ignore your planned schedule in favor of doing something unexpected. Blow off week-end chores. Take a long lunch. Be late for work because you walked through the park. In deviating from the usual rhythm, we often discover our days have more wriggle room than we think.

2. Juxtapose hot and cold.

Snow days revive us with their contrast of icy breezes and warm fuzzies. To get the same effect:

- make your own stove-top hot fudge sundae, with melted Michel Cluizel 72% dark chocolate (visit the new boutique at 584 Fifth Ave., New York) over your favorite vanilla ice cream.

- end your steamy morning shower with a cool finish. It leaves your hair shiny, closes your pores and makes you feel invincible the rest of the day.

- get out for a winter walk and come home to hot chocolate flavored with a few drops of rum. Warm milk or water on your stovetop, stir slowly over Droste cocoa powder and sweeten with agave syrup to taste.

3. Goof off.

Snow days are the ideal time to practice the art of lounging. Writer Véronique Vienne explains that lounging means letting your thoughts go idle, “giving your cognitive self a chance to come home,” (The Art of Doing Nothing, Clarkson Potter Publishers). As the day’s hub bub washes over you, lounging coaxes you to a different place.

Goofing off can also mean strolling around town with no particular agenda. Window shop, stop by the Bronzino exhibit at the Met or slip on a pair of ice skates at Wollman Rink. French Elle reports that ice skating is the latest chic thing to do, as recently demonstrated by Kate Beckinsale, Heidi Klum and Natalie Portman. What better time to hit the ice than an end-of-season Snow Day?

Live épanoui*!

Elisa

* in full bloom

Like many people with certain aspirations in life, I am no stranger to putting pressure on myself. Achieving feels good, and these days, seems like a pre-requisite for staying in the game. How easily we find ourselves with growing tasks and schedules to manage, marathon days, and bosses, friends and families to please!

While pressure cookers work wonders on vegetables, they don’t work so well on humans. Some stress sharpens focus and boosts creativity, but we ultimately do our best work when we feel light, connected and in our flow (a magical state the French call épanoui), as opposed to weighed down with the burdens of the world (or the office, or the household) on our shoulders.

Yet, how do we stay relaxed and in our element when 20 new e-mails arrived since lunchtime, our train is delayed and the nanny needs to leave early? It’s an ever-changing ballet which starts with how we treat ourselves in the day-to-day.

Here are my tips to relieve the pressure and give yourself a little breathing room:

1. Recognize and protect your non-negotiables.

Wonderwomen and supermen are so 1980’s. We can’t do it all, so how do we prioritize? I’ve found that my gut and my body’s red flags are strong allies in helping me cut through the fluff and the “shoulds” to focus on the essentials. If your chest gets tight as you sacrifice another run in the park to make bake sale brownies or give up another week-end to prepare Monday’s sales pitch, that’s a cue to re-organize.

There are some obligations or commitments we can’t circumvent. Here’s where “non-negotiables” come in handy. They’re the little moments where you find yourself doing what you love or what you gravitate towards naturally. Recognize and protect your non-negotiables. Try to tally up enough little moments of these over the course of a week. They put the wind in your sails.

2. Play it cool.

I love to be in the driver’s seat, and have operated my life on the premise that the more I control, the more I achieve. But as Western and Eastern thinkers alike explain, (or your 2 year-old spitting up all over your freshly dry cleaned jacket demonstrates) life constantly blooms and expands in all directions, regardless of our best efforts to intervene.

I’ve unloaded some pressure (and gotten more productive) by evolving my outlook. Many things don’t ever get “done” (professional projects, household administration). What I can do is make regular dents in them and share the load with others, even if that means others may do it differently. Who needs perfect when less than perfect is often just right?

Little tricks of the mind help too. Thoughts of “I have to do this, I have to do that,” add fuel to the fire. Switching to telling myself, “I’d like to do this,” or “I’ll try to do that” mentally lighten my load.

3. Blow off steam.

Prolonged stress and pressure can literally have you break into a sweat, shut down your digestive system and increase your heart rate. Signs like this indicate our sympathetic nervous system (responsible for the fight-or-flight response) is on full alert. Activating the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for rest and relaxation, calms us down.

To flip this switch, practice getting out of your head (where anxious thoughts and pressures reside) and into your senses. Take five deep breaths, drawing your attention to the rise and fall of your tummy. Feel the nail on your right big toe growing. Hit the stairwell and walk up 10 flights.

Physical activities release mood elevating endorphins. Blow off steam at the gym, dance class or in the bedroom. Weaving regular physical practices into your routine melts away the pressure.

Speaking of melting, eating chocolate and cheese also releases opiates that mimic the feeling of being in love. Now I know why chocolate goes so well with Valentine’s Day!

Here are more tips readers recommend to relieve the pressure:

“Fine and Raw chocolate bars. The Himalyan crystal and dark chocolate bar is divine.
It is super clean...no crapola in it and seriously when I need chocolate...that's the ticket. Their bars are fabulous.”

“ I get up and do my Maternal Dance DVD!”

Live épanoui*!

Elisa

* in full bloom