Feel good, French style

This past Sunday, I hung out with a gorgeous T.V. star and her hunky boyfriend on the beautiful estate of an old New York family.

After a day of easy conversation and yummy food washed down with shared glasses of rose, we were all floating on our little pink clouds, far from the hustle of the work week.

Lulled by the fresh air, the comfort of family, and the joys of a full belly, we were relaxed; we were ourselves — as far away from Hollywood and Manhattan as you can get.

In our jam-packed lives, taking time to relax can seem like an impossible fantasy. When you’re a mother, it can be especially hard. If you function like the Energizer bunny, relaxation can feel like a foreign object.

But when you stop working, stop e-mailing and stop running, that’s often when you’re at your best – alive, creative and acutely aware of what’s important, and what’s just fluff.

That clarity seems too precious to confine to Sundays. Couldn’t we all use little reminders during our jam-packed weeks?

Here are my tips to live the good life every day of the week. All you need is a few minutes, because frequently, that’s all we’ve got.

1. Get a green kiss.

As I walked the grounds in upstate New York on Sunday, a sense of cleansing calm prevailed. It is reassuring to walk among trees which have been around longer than you. The gardens bustle with life and breath. As nature around you exhales, so do you.

Little green kisses during the week maintain this connection with your natural element.

- Add some green plants to your office. Get inspired by Kamal Meattle, a business owner in India. He has the healthiest building in Delhi, thanks to the 1200 plants in his 50,000 square foot building. He uses plants like the Money Plant to remove toxins from the air (and bring good luck!) See his video and details on TED to grow your own fresh air.

- If you need a high-power boost, try green superfoods. These include grasses and algae like wheatgrass, spirulina and chlorella. The latter two, both algae, provide a complete source of virtually everything your body needs, in addition to the cleansing power of chlorophyll. They can be good tools to lose weight, get energy back, or supplement when traveling.

- Use your lunch break to get some fresh air and sunlight. Grab your lunch instead of having it delivered. Clear your head with a walk around the block.

- Green kisses are great, French kisses are even better. Ten seconds of relaxation, and I’ll leave the rest to your imagination…

2. Eat what you want.

As I sat down to lunch on Sunday with my beautiful, thin actress companion – one question was on my mind. Does she eat? We were mutually relieved when each of us tucked into salads (of course) followed thank God by real food.

It seems both of us eat what we want, but also know when we’re overdoing it. This philosophy is about listening to your body and your appetite levels, a connection that takes practice. It’s also important to create a solid foundation for yourself by choosing natural foods over processed foods. They will confuse your body and trip you up, no matter how hard you try.

As women, we often don’t eat what we really want. That’s reserved to special occasions, over-the-top pregnancies or blow-out week-ends that lead to guilty Mondays. How many days of the week do you eat what you want?

No matter where you’re at, leave the leisurely barbecues to Sunday, but do take a break a lunch. Put your work aside, step away from the computer, and take a few minutes to focus on your breath, on your chewing rhythm and on the flavors in your food. When you eat without distraction, you feel more satisfied and eat the right amount for your appetite, instead of over-eating.

3. Take a power moment.

Week-ends often give you the luxury of having a little more time to connect with friends and family, or to do the things outside of work you enjoy. I consider those things our motors. They keep us humming along with energy for the week.

But like any Grand Prix race car, we need to make pit stops along the way, during the week too. That’s where power moments come in: 5 minutes, 15 minutes, or more, if you can spare it, of time to relish. For me, these take the form of 5 minute calls with my best friend in California, a few times a month. We schedule longer calls when we really need them, but in the regular course of life, those few minutes together bring joy and connection to a busy week.

If there is a special project you want to do for yourself, or someone or something you miss, make it a part of your week. Take a 5 minute power moment. Sometimes it’s enough to make any day feel like Sunday.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

I love my gadgets as much as the next girl, except when I want to throw my Blackberry out the window and reclaim my life. Facebook, i-pads, e-mail – they’re all changing how we do business, interact with others and perceive the world.

On a good day, my Blackberry is my best friend. Hours later though, I wonder how I can possibly stay on top of all the mails, tweets and feeds. I’ve also observed that technology and love don’t go hand in hand.

The principle is simple: men fall in love with your voice, not with your text messages. Your voice’s melody is as unique as your fingerprint pattern. Twentieth century French sociologist Roland Barthes explains that your voice’s specific harmonies create an erotic bond with your listener. Hearing my husband’s voice makes my tail waggle and feels as soothing as an ice cube on a hot day.

When it comes to love, better to dial than to text. How else can you use your gadgets wisely, so that they contribute to peace of mind, rather than overload? Here are some tips:

1. Stay in charge.

Wonder Woman had her gold headband. I have my Blackberry. Whipping it out to answer a client, make a dinner date, and find the secret to good gazpacho, I become a powerful Superwoman.

The key to feeling supersonic is to practice staying in charge. Be the boss of your Blackberry, not the other way around. Your body reacts to the constant stimulation of chatting, texting and mailing by becoming addicted to the dopamine-fueled excitement. Pretty scary when combined with that gnawing feeling of “I have to check my e-mail.”

Practice steering your ship with a focus on what’s important. Decide which calls you’ll answer, when you’ll read your e-mails and how other peoples’ and colleagues’ needs mesh with your priorities. Manage expectations if you deal with people joined at the hip to their i-phone.

2. Work better off-line.

According to a recent article in the New York Times, computer users at work change windows or check e-mail or other programs nearly 37 times an hour. Sadly, researchers say that new technologies hamper your ability to concentrate, analyze, and create. Multitasking creates stress and challenges your ability to filter out irrelevant information.

Time management experts advise blocking out time for e-mail, and even more time to produce your work. Log off your e-mail so it won’t tempt you. Schedule time to focus uninterrupted. That focus feels good and actually reduces your stress. I like to play a game with myself. I practice holding my concentration and try to lengthen my attention span.

One of the most influential designers of our time and Dior Creative Director John Galliano doesn’t e-mail. Creating beautiful gowns and perfect tailleurs (suits) seems like a worthier pursuit.

3. Take technology breathers.

Regularly disconnecting from the wired world makes sense. All of our electronic devices impart radiation, which comes with its share of adverse health effects.  The radiation from your cell phone, for example, opens up the blood brain barrier and allows toxins to enter your brain. Use a headset or analog phone whenever possible. Be especially careful when pregnant, and with children.

For restful sleep, we need our own shut-down period, without stimulation from TV and computers. Turn these off at least an hour before bed. Get these devices out of the bedroom since the electromagnetic waves they emit disturb sleep.

The wired world has its merits. But can it really compete with feeling the sun on your face, floating on an ocean wave or feeling a lover’s kiss on your neck? It’s not easy to strike the right note when you’re pressured to stay constantly connected. But the water sure feels better in the real world.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

P.S. There are only a few spots left for the Happiness Now workshop next Tuesday evening. If you’d like to attend, please register now.