Feel good, French style

“Keep Calm and Carry On.” I suppose this is Kate Middleton’s mantra of choice as Royal Wedding frenzy reaches its height. I’m not marrying Prince William on Friday (sorry, Will, my heart is taken) but I do love this classic British saying.

It was initially a poster produced by the British government during the beginning of World War II intended to raise morale under the threat of impending invasion. But, it still works for any urban warrior.

When something happens that makes you upset, angry or scared, you can jump right into those feelings and get sucked into panic mode. Or, like the Japanese model for us in the aftermath of the tsunami, you can step back, and shift your perspective. Take a few deep breaths and throw the panic out to sea.

Do you have a tendency to feed your sense of calm, or to feed your sense of panic?

There is a story of a Cherokee elder talking to his grandson. He tells the child that he has two wolves fighting inside himself. One wolf is goodness, love, kindness, joy, and peace. The other wolf is hatred, anger, envy, pride, and greed. The grandson anxiously asks, “Which wolf wins?” The grandfather answers solemnly, “The one that I feed the most.”

Whichever one you’re feeding, try chocolate. Then daydream that you too are marrying a prince, in a spectacular white dress on a glorious Spring day.

Keep Calm and Carry On.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

Guess who’s coming for a visit? The Buddhist monk, poet and activist Thich Nhat Hanh. He recently released tour dates in the U.S., including public events in NYC.

I discovered Thich Nhat Hanh when a friend suggested I read Peace is Every Step.  The title alone intrigues: can you take a step and feel more peaceful? The book explores the idea of walking meditation. I think of it as trying to keep your mind in the present, using your senses to experience the act of walking. You touch the Earth with every step. You feel the air tickling your ear lobes. You take in the details of life buzzing around you.

Being present in this way helps relieve stress caused by your never-ending brain chatter. It’s often when your thoughts send you into the future (“what am I forgetting for my meeting tomorrow?”) or into the past (“why did I do this or say that?”) that you feel stress or pain.

But if you practice being in the present, the chatter calms down. That’s one way to cultivate your sense of épanoui (French-style bliss). Try it: laugh, or tell someone a story, or make the biggest smile you can.

Doesn’t it feel good to be in the moment?

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

When my Maman was a student in Paris, she used to go to Angelina’s, a turn-of-the-century tea salon across from the Tuileries gardens. When I was little, she began taking me, and that’s where my addiction began.

Angelina’s serves what is arguably the best hot chocolate in the world (with a little bowl of fresh whipped cream to enjoy it with).

Hot chocolate is my favorite way to zap the Winter Blues. I make this simple version at home using cocoa powder. The trick is to buy it unsweetened — with just 15 calories a teaspoon that’s a lot less calories than using melted chocolate but just as good!

You’ll also make Michael Pollan proud. In his Food Rules, An Eater’s Manual, he advises “sweeten and salt your food yourself.” Start with clean ingredients and sweeten to your own taste.

Ingredients:

-          Droste or other brand unsweetened cacao powder (I haven’t tried raw cacao powder but it must work nicely too)

-          Organic milk (I use half water, half milk. Use your milk of choice.)

-          Agave syrup

Put 2 teaspoons cacao powder in your mug. Add a little of your very hot milk to make a paste, stirring well. Then add the rest of the milk. Sweeten to taste.

What’s your favorite hot chocolate? We’d love to hear your recipes and favorite places.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

The second reason to love winter? It’s okay to do absolutely nothing! It’s too cold to go out – time to snuggle up, luxuriate and just be still.

But you know what? It’s often when there’s no pressure to perform that you deliver your best act. Quiet nothings turn into rich, wonderful somethings. Take last night. I finally had the chance to finish the last half of Between Two Worlds. When I read the last page at 1 a.m., I felt shell-shocked.

In one of the most powerful books I’ve ever read, Zainab Salbi relates her life growing up under Sadam Hussein’s terrorizing grip. She explains how she ultimately turned terror and pain into a life force. Zainab has helped over 250,000 women survivors of war through the organization she founded in 1993, Women for Women International.

Reading her story made me marvel all the more at the advice she gave a group of New York women last November. Manhattan life can be crazy and stressful, she explained, but don’t forget to stop. Laugh, dance, put on your prettiest dress and your favorite lipstick. Do it for all the women in Afghanistan, Iraq, Rwanda, Sudan — and countless other places — who can’t.

Claim your joy so that it can help you change the world.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

I was invited to share my tips about managing the stresses of the holiday season…but that seems a little bah, humbug. It’s easy for me to tell you to eat an apple before parties so you won’t arrive ravenous, choose one glass of wine over three cocktails, and go to Women for Women for your holiday gifts (no wrapping required). But this defeats the purpose of reveling in this special whirlwind that happens only once a year.

How am I coping with the busy holiday season? Ebenezer Scrooge has his Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, and Yet to Come. I’m no scrooge, but I also decided that multiplying myself by three is not a bad strategy. My triple personalities include The Kid in Me, The Present Me, and The 2011 Me.

• The Kid in Me:

She has a Pavlovian response to the holidays, buzzing around for presents, chiming in with the carols on Muzak and savoring every bite of her latke and gingerbread man. Thank God she also pops up every time I’m feeling stressed and scrooge-y. Last week, for example, she suggested my husband and I skip out on a holiday event for some much needed R&R. We stole away for a romantic dinner, just as naughty as it was nice.

• The Present Me:

There is nothing like twinkling lights, the jingle-jingle of the Salvation Army bells and the smell of fresh fir trees to yank you right out of your thoughts and to do’s and back into the present moment. That’s where the joys of the season play out. The gatherings, concerts and feasts remind you of all that is good in the world. You just have to show up to the party!

• The 2011 Me:

There is a fine art to staying present while also fleshing out your vision for the future. In previous years, I’ve thought about my goals and New Year’s resolutions, drafting a list to get serious about in January.

This year however, armed with three Me’s instead of one, I’m blazing ahead with some of my steps. It feels good to already be up for bat as the New Year chimes in. I’m hitting this ball out of the park!

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom