Feel good, French style

Photo by Panduka Senaka

I have written before about my love-hate relationship with my Blackberry. Friend when it helps you be efficient; foe when you get sucked into working 24/7 and slowly lose your life. Lately, I’ve encountered quite a few women who are feeling the Blackberry Burn (same goes for i-phones).

Here’s what happens. You leave work, but work follows you home. You’re having to deal with a client instead of making dinner, getting your beauty rest, or spending some QT with your chéri. Or, it’s the week-end. You’re relaxed, thinking of how nice the crisp Fall air feels or how fast your daughter is growing, when BAM – checking one work e-mail sends you right back to the stress of Monday morning.

I noticed that my Blackberry was sneakily starting to stress me out, despite its innocent fruity name. So, I’m trying to keep it in its rightful place. Checking e-mails less frantically, putting it down for the night well before I turn in, and separating my work e-mail from my personal e-mail. That helps avoid a nasty rush of adrenaline when you go to e-mail a friend and find 10 new work e-mails waiting.

The amazing thing is that nothing bad has happened. I’m still reachable and productive (in fact, more so). It helps me focus on what’s important, instead of the latest and greatest in my in-box.

I know some workplace cultures “require” you to be always “on”. But that’s a one-way ticket to burn-out and hating a job you used to love. I’m taking breathers and enjoying some Blackberries – market fresh and topped with whipped cream!

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

Do you spend lunchtime juggling between your fork, your phone and your keyboard? There was a time when we had to squeeze less things into the day. That meant we could stop and eat lunch.

These days, mealtimes tend to fall by the wayside.  Neglecting the need to nourish yourself is a byproduct of the working culture which has emerged in recent years. As Tony Schwarz explains in his book The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working, employers and employees alike have come to believe that humans operate like computers, simultaneously running multiple programs at ever faster speeds.

The problem is that humans aren’t machines. We have distinct rhythms, needs and energy patterns. Understanding how to work with your body and your psyche is a first step to harnessing your energy. Your energy, after all, is the ultimate springboard to achieve everything you want to achieve.

Taking a small, but real, lunch break is a good place to start. Here are the advantages:

1. Efficiency. Studies show that you work better when you take breaks. You’re quicker, more alert and more creative. A break puts a distance between you and your workload and allows you to get perspective. That helps you focus on the essentials and keep less important matters at bay.

2. Bottom-line. By this I mean your very own rear-end. If you eat while distracted (working, reading or watching TV, for example), your stomach and brain can’t communicate. You miss out on the signals that you’re getting full, and on the signals of satisfaction and comfort you derive from eating. This makes it difficult to eat to your real appetite. It creates feelings of frustration that are usually satisfied by 3 pm candy bars or heavier dinners — not a good route for optimizing energy or weight.

3. Connection. When you take the time to eat, you recognize yourself as a person. That’s the key to making connections between your body and your self, to tuning into your emotions, needs and ideas.

Similarly, the office that eats together, stays together. Getting a job done is also about creating bonds and sharing the day’s highpoints and challenges.  If you’re a boss, set the example.

Every Wednesday this Summer, The Energy Project is organizing collective lunch breaks all across America. In New York, they’ll be at Madison Square Park. That’s a great inspiration.

Grab yourself a sandwich and soak up the rays. Your in-box will always be there, but the Summer won’t last forever.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

Photo by Panduka Senaka

I love my gadgets as much as the next girl, except when I want to throw my Blackberry out the window and reclaim my life. Facebook, i-pads, e-mail – they’re all changing how we do business, interact with others and perceive the world.

On a good day, my Blackberry is my best friend. Hours later though, I wonder how I can possibly stay on top of all the mails, tweets and feeds. I’ve also observed that technology and love don’t go hand in hand.

The principle is simple: men fall in love with your voice, not with your text messages. Your voice’s melody is as unique as your fingerprint pattern. Twentieth century French sociologist Roland Barthes explains that your voice’s specific harmonies create an erotic bond with your listener. Hearing my husband’s voice makes my tail waggle and feels as soothing as an ice cube on a hot day.

When it comes to love, better to dial than to text. How else can you use your gadgets wisely, so that they contribute to peace of mind, rather than overload? Here are some tips:

1. Stay in charge.

Wonder Woman had her gold headband. I have my Blackberry. Whipping it out to answer a client, make a dinner date, and find the secret to good gazpacho, I become a powerful Superwoman.

The key to feeling supersonic is to practice staying in charge. Be the boss of your Blackberry, not the other way around. Your body reacts to the constant stimulation of chatting, texting and mailing by becoming addicted to the dopamine-fueled excitement. Pretty scary when combined with that gnawing feeling of “I have to check my e-mail.”

Practice steering your ship with a focus on what’s important. Decide which calls you’ll answer, when you’ll read your e-mails and how other peoples’ and colleagues’ needs mesh with your priorities. Manage expectations if you deal with people joined at the hip to their i-phone.

2. Work better off-line.

According to a recent article in the New York Times, computer users at work change windows or check e-mail or other programs nearly 37 times an hour. Sadly, researchers say that new technologies hamper your ability to concentrate, analyze, and create. Multitasking creates stress and challenges your ability to filter out irrelevant information.

Time management experts advise blocking out time for e-mail, and even more time to produce your work. Log off your e-mail so it won’t tempt you. Schedule time to focus uninterrupted. That focus feels good and actually reduces your stress. I like to play a game with myself. I practice holding my concentration and try to lengthen my attention span.

One of the most influential designers of our time and Dior Creative Director John Galliano doesn’t e-mail. Creating beautiful gowns and perfect tailleurs (suits) seems like a worthier pursuit.

3. Take technology breathers.

Regularly disconnecting from the wired world makes sense. All of our electronic devices impart radiation, which comes with its share of adverse health effects.  The radiation from your cell phone, for example, opens up the blood brain barrier and allows toxins to enter your brain. Use a headset or analog phone whenever possible. Be especially careful when pregnant, and with children.

For restful sleep, we need our own shut-down period, without stimulation from TV and computers. Turn these off at least an hour before bed. Get these devices out of the bedroom since the electromagnetic waves they emit disturb sleep.

The Luxembourg Garden, Paris May 2010

The wired world has its merits. But can it really compete with feeling the sun on your face, floating on an ocean wave or feeling a lover’s kiss on your neck? It’s not easy to strike the right note when you’re pressured to stay constantly connected. But the water sure feels better in the real world.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

P.S. There are only a few spots left for the Happiness Now workshop next Tuesday evening. If you’d like to attend, please register now.

Last week, we talked about finding your fitness fixette – activities which maximize your enjoyment and integrate into your daily routine.  My own fixette is two-fold. On the one hand, walking. My feet take me almost everywhere, and I practice focusing my mind, a never-ending challenge.

Lately, I’m also hooked on my Latin dance class. It’s the perfect combination of music, movement, and an addictive instructor, Michael. His Brazilian bumbum is perfection (more on Brazilian bumbums below).

Photo by AleRoda

If you haven’t yet sprung into action, here are some more practical ideas to get energized from office to home to hotel room.

1. Office revivers:

- Release some endorphins. Instead of reaching for coffee or snacks, get up, stretch your legs and hit the stairs or a mini-trampoline (order on amazon.com). What better way to feel like a kid again in between your million dollar deals?

- Drink in energy. Make a plan with a colleague or two to replace Starbuck runs with a walk around the block and a green juice. Fresh air and live nutrients will rejuvenate you instead of depleting you.

- Adjust your posture. Good ergonomics at the office keep your neck and shoulders relaxed. Check-in regularly to see that your spine is straight, your feet on the floor, your wrists flat, and your monitor at eye-level.

2. Business trip solutions:

- Give yourself permission to do less. When you’re travelling and over-scheduled, fitness can fall by the wayside. Instead of dropping it entirely, take the pressure off. Jog 15 minutes on the treadmill instead of your usual 30 minute run, for example. Zap business dinner calories by doing this first thing on an empty stomach.

- Play the Pick-up Game. Annemarie Colbin, the founder of the Natural Gourmet Institute (foodandhealing.com), suggests spending a few minutes in your hotel room picking up things and putting them down (i.e. chairs, bags, lamps). A quirky way to get your heart moving and practice lifting from your core.

- Pack your favorite DVD. From yoga to Core Fusion to groovy dance, most of your activities back home come in to-go versions. Gaiam.com offers a complete selection. If you don’t have time for a full class, feel like you’ve done something nice for yourself by doing a portion.

3. “I’m too busy” solutions:

- Hit the Wall. To tone your thighs, try the Invisible Chair. With your back against the wall and your legs as wide as your shoulders, pretend to sit in a chair and hold 30 seconds. Repeat 3 times during the day.

The Lazy Push-Up means you don’t have to even touch the floor. Put your hands flat against the wall and do 20 push-ups, paying attention to your breathing.

- Move your bumbum with a trainer. Getting a professional’s support with your fitness endeavors often makes the difference between aspiration and reality. Recently, I was introduced to a holistic fitness coach, Brenda Vongova, who takes a joyful and intelligent approach to movement.

The Harvard-educated Brenda works with a small number of clients because she saves the world by day at the United Nations. She specializes in slimming and redesigning the body holistically. Her Body Lift program takes only 20 minutes a day and can be done anywhere, without equipment. You can also add on the Vongova Tummy Tuck routine, or her Brazil-inspired Bumbum Lift (vongova.com; tel. 917 561 0451).

Who’s joining me in Ipanema?

Live épanoui*!

Elisa

* in full bloom

Photo by Stella Brazil

Swimsuit season is almost upon us, which means wriggling your toes in the sand, feeling the sun on your back and taking deep breaths of salty sea air as coconut sunscreen tickles your nose. It also means your winter body might need a boost before you emerge from your pareo.

With warmer weather beckoning us out of doors, there’s no better time to get ready to hit the beach. But more than just vanity, getting swimsuit ready is about feeling good in your body. That starts with thinking about how you’re moving in the day-to-day.

Here’s my advice for finding your fitness fixette. Unlike other addictions though, this one is good for you.

1. Integrate movement into your daily life.

Whether you’re an avid runner or have fallen off the wagon, there’s a case to be made for integrating more movement into your routine. To paraphrase Oprah, one thing I know for sure is that your body wasn’t created to sit in front of a computer. Observe any animal or child, and you’ll see that living things move. A recent study showed that the traditional recommendation of moving 30 minutes a day probably isn’t enough. Double that is better.

Start stretching your legs. Discover the little joys you get from a few minutes of jumping, dancing, walking or carrying your own groceries. Make walking or biking a part of your commute or socializing. Use the stairs. Dance with your kids.

These little things help you start relating to your body in a different way – not as a slightly foreign object to be tamed on the treadmill, but as your bosom buddy, on the mat and off.

2. Maximize your enjoyment.

Forget the gym, unless you love it. Motivation will take you as far as buying your membership, but only inspiration will keep you coming back. Figure out what kinds of activities get your heart singing – dance, martial arts, yoga, tennis – and make this your focus.

With a few techniques to maximize your enjoyment, you can find your groove, or what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow (see his classic Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience.) He recommends to:

• set goals and be able to measure your progress against those goals;
• bring awareness to what you are doing so that mind and body are integrated; and
• raise the stakes if you get bored.

In our society, we’re pretty good at setting goals to run faster, swim further or jump higher, but bringing awareness to what we’re doing requires practice.

You want to try and bring your mind’s attention away from the past or the future, and into the present. Focus on your breath and the sensations in your body.

3. Ease into your own shape.

There’s so much pressure in our milieus to look a certain way. These days, a “perfect” yoga body and tightly toned triceps go with a stellar career and a thriving family.

Some people enjoy molding and shaping their body to meet their aspirations.

For others, it’s important to take stock of your priorities and where you want to spend your time. Give yourself permission to settle into your own shape.

That shape shifts and changes with the seasons, and with the phases of your life. As Deepak Chopra explains, “Our body is a process, not a structure.” It’s influenced by all the activities we undertake daily – digestion, sleep, movement, thoughts.

Stay in your process by moving in ways you enjoy daily and bringing awareness to that movement. That’s how you feel at home in your body, and very much at home in your bikini.

Live épanoui*!

Elisa

* in full bloom

P.S. One reader shares, “ I love to walk fast and dance in silly ways to make my baby laugh.”