Feel good, French style

“It” girls are passé, welcome to the reign of a new breed of woman, the “Oppos-It” Girl. I came across this inspirational analysis in the August issue of French magazine L’Officiel.

Contrary to her more superficial counterparts, the Opposite Girl is a woman of substance who’s here to stay.

As journalist Constance Chaillet explains, an Opposite Girl:

- embraces multiple lives, investing herself in the professional and personal projects that correspond to her passions and talents. She’s often also a mom, which doesn’t preclude her from having a love life, or a social life.

- wields influence. These 30 and 40-somethings are forces to be reckoned with, grounded in a serene sense of self-possession.

Oppos-It girl Victoire de Taillac

Oppos-It girl Victoire de Taillac, for example, simultaneously runs a restaurant in Tangiers, Morocco, does PR for a few brands, and writes the fabulous blog The French Beauty Club. She’s also mom to three children and Just Married.

I love the Oppos-It Girl because:

- She has a stomach, a brain and a sex and she’s not afraid to use them.

- She lives épanoui (in full bloom), arranging her life in the ways that suit her. She feels beautiful in her skin (whether or not she also happens to be a model, like Oppos-It Girl and Chanel model Caroline de Maigret, 35)

Oppos-It girl Caroline de Maigret walking the Chanel Resort show last May in St. Tropez.

- She’s got her priorities right. She’s her own woman first, which gives her the wherewithal to play multiple roles.

Opposite Girls Good Advice:

We all have the spirit of Oppos-It Girls these days, juggling the demands of jobs, activities, social lives and children while trying to stay true to our hearts.

Magazines may make it all look easy, but playing modern day superwoman can sometimes be too much. When that happens, here are two gentle reminders to bring you back to life:

- Let it slide. With so many things going on, you can’t run everything with the efficiency of a Fortune 500 CEO. Focus on the essentials and explore the beauty of imperfection.

- Nurture your support system. An Opposite Girl is only as good as her team. Don’t be afraid to delegate, to ask for help, and to share the joys and grievances of everyday life with your family and friends.

Being a contrarian never felt this good. Vive les Oppos-It girls!

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom

When you’re living in full bloom – what the French call épanoui – you can’t help but glow. This week, I asked Joi Gordon, the CEO of Dress for Success Worldwide, to share her own recipe for success.

You have the glow of a woman who is on a mission and full of passion. Tell us about your work.

Dress for Success is an organization that helps women get back to work by giving her her interview suit, but more importantly giving her the self confidence and self worth she needs so she can go into an interview looking and feeling great. In light of the recession, we’ve expanded our programs to help women land jobs as well, with initiatives such as our Breakfast Clubs. We’re focused on women’s professional development and economic independence in a very holistic way.

What is a typical day like for you, Joi?

My work day starts out the way I prioritize my life, which is family first. The best part of my day is going to my kids’ bedrooms, waking them up, and looking at them and realizing one, that they’re all mine. And secondly, watching them grow.

From there, I take the quickest path I can to get to work. For me, it’s never been a job. I can remember when I first wrote the cover letter for the job in 1999 and I still have my cover letter. In it I said, “working at Dress for Success should never be a job. It has to be my mission.”

The day is busy. It’s full, but it’s full in a great sense – it’s full because it fills me. It’s just beautiful to know in some small way you’re helping someone else succeed.

Where do you get your energy to keep up the traveling, work and family?

I think energy is all relative. I get the opportunity to see women who have very little make the best of what they have. And so the women who walk into Dress for Success, I find, are the most resilient women. These are in most cases single mothers with multiple children who have to balance working and life.

I gain a lot of strength from seeing what our women had to overcome so they can get to where they are today.

What is your advice to women who are trying to combine a busy professional life with their own family and personal life?

What I say to women is this: if you have great joy in your purpose in life, if you found your purpose and its within your job, and it’s important to you, be great at it. Because if you’re happy, then your family will be happy. So find something that gives you great purpose and passion and then everyone else will be happy. It’s when you’re not happy that your whole life is off kilt.

As working women, it’s never a true balance though. It’s a daily struggle, so finding your purpose and passion helps.

What do you do if your job and your passion don’t match? If you don’t have the sense that you’re living your purpose?

If your purpose and passion don’t align with what your day job is, I say, women, men, anyone, can find it in volunteering. Sometimes you just have to find that extra hour or two. It’s where you can really let your passion flow.

What does it mean to you to live épanoui?

For me, it’s loving yourself as you are. As women, we tend to be really hard on ourselves. I think overall we’re just fabulous and if you feel that every single day, you’ll walk taller, you’ll seem smarter, you’ll feel greater.

So well said, thank you, Joi!

I recently learned that French lingerie house Simone Pérèle has partnered with Dress for Success to donate a minimum of $25,000 to the organization. They will donate an additional $5 for every purchase made on their Online Boutique and at participating stores. This program now ends August 31^st – so make a note for your pre-Fall shopping list.

Beautiful French lingerie, helping women feel confident and empowered…I’m glowing already!

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom