Feel good, French style

Woman power is in the air these days. Alicia Keys recently announced the launch of her new site I Am A Superwoman.com and unveiled her Blogger-in-Chief on Good Morning America, the bubbly and smart Alexis Tirado. Last week, Wonder Woman got a full make-over, trading in her signature superhero briefs for a sleek pant and biker jacket combo almost as good as a Balmain runway look.

This new generation of super women is about to shake things up, and we need it. On the one hand, women recognize that a Super Woman who juggles several full-time roles – career woman, mother, wife, friend – can’t do everything perfectly and shouldn’t have to. On the other hand, The Superwoman Squeeze – that pressure to do it all – lingers. A recent study found that 86% of full time working women do most of the housework and 77% do most of the child rearing.

We might have let go of the Super Woman model, but it’s tempting to want to chase after her trophies – a  job title, perfectly-toned triceps, a Featured spot on Etsy, or a home in the country. In one of the only memorable scenes in Sex and the City 2, Miranda and Charlotte popped their lids and revealed the pressure inherent in maintaining the image of perfect moms.

External standards are hard to measure up to, and one size can’t fit all. We need to re-invent a Super Woman who is at once inspiring and accessible; empowering and pragmatic; universal and personal. This means that being a Super Woman has less to do with the external world and traditional measures of success, and more to do with what’s happening on your insides. It’s your attitude, not your calling card.

My Super Woman may look different than your Super Woman, but she shares the same inner core:

1. She nurtures her sense of self.

Your sense of self resides deep inside. It’s your inner voice, your knowing wisdom. Building a ready access to that knowing place is an on-going process. It starts by building awareness and by getting to know yourself, both the shadowy aspects and the glowing ones.

Building the connection with yourself and exploring its ever-changing contours contributes to the richness of life. It happens in a multitude of ways — when you create a little time and space for yourself, when you listen to your body, when you check-in with your gut, when you take the time to appreciate your food, or when you put your thoughts and feelings to paper. Having a strong sense of self doesn’t solve your problems, but it does confer confidence and benevolence, elevating you to super hero status.

2. She cultivates optimism.

Optimism is a way of looking at the world, a belief that you’ll experience life in a positive manner, and that good things are plentiful. Since to a large extent our perceptions create our realities, perceiving with rose-colored glasses can make today’s “bad,” upsetting, or scary situation look interesting.

Optimism isn’t about taking an unrealistic Pollyanna approach to life. It’s about planting the seeds of joy within yourself. Those seeds become the roots of serenity, of happiness and of well-being. No matter where you tend to operate on the glass half-empty, half-full spectrum, optimism seems to be a naturally occurring brain function in everyone. Neuroscientists studying the brain found that your brain lights up more when you think about positive events as compared to negative ones. You literally give more brain juice to the positive stuff.

In a world full of suffering and problems to heal, it’s comforting to know that combat begins by harnessing your own joy power. Optimism is the Super Woman’s turbo charger.

3. She engages with her world.

When you come from a place of strength inside, reaching beyond your own self happens naturally. Boundaries and old protection mechanisms tend to melt away.

Today’s Super Woman is connected with others and with her world in dozens of different ways. She cares for her family and leads a company. She smiles to someone down on his luck and runs a foundation. She makes the news and tweets a comment. Whatever her modalities, however big or however small, and regardless of the challenges and frustrations inherent in interacting with others, she is a Super Woman for trying.

Painting yourself into the larger picture of humanity begins with little brushstrokes. It may mean adopting a different take in relating to others – family members, colleagues or friends. This entails letting things roll more easily off your back, assuming good intentions over bad, and perhaps sucking it up to make someone else happy over yourself. In sum, acting like the grown-up version of you as frequently as possible.

That Sunday-best self is your inner Super Woman, the apple of your eye, the winged heroine zooming through the sky.

Live épanoui*

Elisa

* in full bloom